Dreams

A few years ago, a colleague at work recommended a book called The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho to me.  He had been very impressed with the book, and thought I would enjoy it too.

I am generally skeptical of claims that I will enjoy a book, a movie, or anything else.  If its that good, I should be interested just by hearing about it, without someone saying that I’ll like it.  Further, the more people say something is good, for some reason, I tend to grow more skeptical and to avoid the object of recommendation (unless the recommendations come from someone who’s already recommended good stuff to me before).

However, that day, I was in a mood to be distracted, and when I got back home, I decided to go through the first few pages.  I’d been told the book was about a boy who dreamt of buried treasure in a far away land, and who eventually set off to find it.  It definitely had not sounded too interesting to me.

As I went through the first few pages, I surprisingly found myself drawn into the story.  It was a simple story about a shepherd who loved his sheep and a local girl, and who had dreams that kept repeating.  He went off to find the treasure he dreamt of, and eventually did, and found himself in the process.  Before I knew it, within the next few hours, I had finished the book, and I was a changed man.

Perhaps I exaggerate.  But then again, perhaps not.  There had been a decision I had been mulling over for a long time, and while reading the book, the message I got was that chasing a treasure that might not even exist is sometimes good for its own sake, even if you might have better options in hand.  That was just what the books message was—not a pushy kind of message that said “I am right, and you must believe me”, but just a simple message that said– “here is a make-believe story about a boy who decided to follow his dreams”.

The boy finds another treasure, and in the process of looking for the treasure, he finds himself and a happy life, perhaps the greatest treasure of all.

Which brings me to my question: are our dreams worth chasing after?  All of us must have dreamt of becoming millionaires or the president or something else equally fantastic as young children.  As we grew older, our dreams must have gotten toned down, becoming somewhat more practical in their reach.  Eventually, we might have reached a stage where we might have forgotten what our dreams were, or if we ever had any.

Childhood dreams, just like the dreams we have at night—if we don’t hold on to them, we forget they ever existed.  The thing I sometimes wonder about, and the question I want to raise to you today is: for those of us who choose to chase our dreams and for those of us who choose not to, what difference do you think it has made in your life: whether you chose to follow your dreams, or to follow what circumstances dictated—in the end, does it make any difference at all?

I think it does make a difference, but then, what is your opinion ?

Note:  I think this topic is too complicated to be the topic of a cursory blog-post, but since I didn’t have much else to write about at the moment, and this thought fleeted through my mind, I thought it was interesting enough to spend a few moments on:).

A (Good) Story (?)

He looked around him.  He was surrounded by around seven or eight soldiers with their AK-47’s aimed straight at him.  He had been to the country on a visit, and he was not a martial arts expert or a political figure: he was just an ordinary employee of an IT firm based in California.

His heart was pounding, he was sweating like anything, and he wondered where he was going to land up next.  If this was real life, he knew he was in deep, deep trouble.  He still was in deep trouble, but he was cool, and could afford to look it, because he had faith.

Faith in the writer—he knew that the ending would turn out to be great and in his favor, and that he would look like a hero, nevermind the pounding heart, the screaming emotions, the feeling of complete bewilderment.  He knew things would turn out all right, that nothing would happen to him.

And they didn’t.  He was in a fictional setting, being nothing but a fragment of imagination.  He was indeed, the protagonist of the fiction, but the piece of fiction itself was just a fragment that was designed to illustrate some small fact that anyone knows about, but that had re-asserted itself in the writer’s mind in a brief instant of realization, and that writer, who had not written for quite some time, decided to write down something in a whim.

He had been created, in a tight situation, and he could have potentially gone far in his adventures.  Unluckily, he was destined to be stuck in it till he disappeared from the minds of his readers, and the way the piece was written, his initially scary situation had turned out to look somewhat comical, somewhat nonsensical.  However, he still was the protagonist, in a piece that was unique if nothing else.

Thats all folks .  I had started writing to illustrate one point, but somewhere at around 60% of the piece, I just went with the flow, and ended up writing it completely differently—I somehow liked the ending, but I’m not sure if anyone else did—hope so though!   My original intent can be guessed from the initial part of this entry, just in case you are curious.  Hope you enjoyed it, even if it was just a little .  BTW, its not Friday or early Saturday, but I thought this much was allowable after a long break, since I felt like writing on a whim all of a sudden .

Metaphors

I like to believe that similarities exist all around us, if only we look closely enough.  Do I really see things the way I describe them below?  Who knows?  However, the narrator of the poem (I’m the author, not the ‘narrator’ – he’s a fictional character that you don’t get to know more about ) apparently does, and all because he studied the river flowing for quite some time!

Like most of my blog posts, this one also has a few rough edges around it as of now, hopefully, I’ll smooth them out sometime soon.

Metaphors

Schools of fish,
dancing currents,
and colorful pebbles
being carried forth
for short distances
by the river
come to mind
as I watch people bustling
through a shopping mall
on a busy day,
and suddenly I wonder
about other parallel worlds
that co-exist
with the river
flowing before my eyes.

Its all your fault!

I haven’t written stuff in a while.  Today, I had nothing to write about in my head, as I opened up a new post.  A topic came into my head, but it happened to be a very complex one, and it requires a lot of analysis.  I can write how I feel in general, but writing in a more rational way would require much more effort that the 15-20 minutes I will attempt to dedicate to it.  Hence, I call it a ‘rant’ and present it below.  I look forward to hearing what you think as well, and look forward to comments.  To see what kind of comments I like, please look at the about section .

People sometimes mess things up for us, real bad. We have to go through extreme misery just because of them, day after day, seemingly without end.  In the end, after its all over, the bad taste is still in our mouth, and we might feel that we’ve been scarred for life.

Then again, people sometimes mess things up for our predecessors.  Things are ok for us, but for so long, our predecessors had a real hard time.  Sometimes, we have a hard time too, to an extent.

And then, sometimes, our predecessors didn’t have such a hard time, but we are against the status quo of certain things.  In the air of our revolt, we try to break the status quo, and we blame everything that has happened so far, including the state of status quo that was there when our predecessors existed, and blame the receiving end for it.  It is all a ‘tool’ to help further our revolt.  The past, the present, anything that we can manipulate with words.

No matter what had happened, is the choice we are left with: “what do we do now?”.

The question is: with the initiative in your hands, what do you choose to do?

Would you choose to simply break away: forgive them or just leave them be, and get on with your future?  You could do something constructive, or if they are involved too, get them in a win-win situation with you, get things working for a better future for both of you?

Or would you choose a path of active aggression, attacking the alleged wrongdoers, gaining benefits from them to some extent, both by showing you are morally superior to them, and taking what they think is theirs, while doing very little constructive work yourself?

If you choose the second option of course, I have some questions: who is the judge of your own actions: that you are right, and the other is wrong, in the past, and more importantly, today?  Also, what is your true intent behind choosing that path, all words left aside, including the words you tell yourself?

A note on why I ask these questions:  I see so many situations where people react to the past, some examples being revolts in my own country.  Someone did something to a group a long time ago, someone took away an independent state from someone else a long time ago, and ever since, they have been forced to live as colonies of the invaders.  A note to those who do not know about my country: it is not very big, and as far as I know, everyone was trying to increase territories back in a feudal area.  The example of states being colonized is but one possibility of seeing wrongdoing in the past.  You might be angry with someone in your personal life, or in various other contexts as well.  However, I choose to only look at this particular example for now.

Why is it such a big deal?

Everyone now seems to want their own ‘territory’, free from interference from the other territories, or at least that is what I understand.  Who does it help?

I guess the people who get to be in power in the small territories in the small run.  Perhaps neighbors who would love to attempt to slurp up a few chunks of land if they can: much more difficult to do from a unified Nepal than from small pieces of it.  Perhaps the people there, but really, do you think it would help them that much?  Couldn’t there be a much better solution if all the ‘territories’ overlooked the ‘past’ and decided to work together as one single nation?  Difficult for the ones shouting the most—their chances of getting into power would perhaps diminish, but what about the rest of the gang, the ones that actually have to live a life free from politics one way or another?

I end my post with these questions for this particular example.  However I feel that the questions I raise apply to most situations where grievance is involved, though the situations are sometimes very very different. The final question is:  is it possible to still walk away with your future in your hands, completely free of the initiator of misery, or must justice always be dealt? My choice slightly leans towards leaving the offenders be to a certain extent, perhaps because I like to believe that your karma eventually catches up to you, no matter how much you try to leave it behind.  I think I would choose to neutralize any means of aggression they possess, and leave them be after that if I can.  However, that is from my perspective.  I leave your answer upto you.

Note:  This is a post written in a hurry, so I might end up editing it later.  Most likely not though, but lets see.

You are what you eat!

I do not see how this post could offend anyone, but just in case it does, please remember that this is meant in jest!  I just remembered that some people told me that you become like what you eat, and an observation made the whole statement sound somewhat difficult to assert .  Here goes the main post:

I’ve heard this time and again, in different places, from different people from different backgrounds.  Not so often, but still, enough to make me notice, though the strange assertion is perhaps enough to make one remember it even if heard once.

I remember someone acting like a chicken (or turkey.. I forget now) in front of an audience in order to demonstrate that if you ate too much chicken, you would become like chicken….. semi-humorously, but I think, still believing in the statement that “you are what you eat”.

That assertion has been a tiny bother in the back of my mind for a long time: “why do so many people think it is true?  What observations did they make that led them to believe in something like that?  Is it true, at least to some extent?”

Then today, as I was eating rice with cauliflowers and ‘Kimchi’ (a korean dish made of fermented cabbage and shrimp), the statement came to mind again… “If people are what they eat, I am eating fermented cabbage and shrimp… what might that make me ”

Within a few milliseconds, I came across a proof that the statement is false, and was proud of myself.  Until of course, I realized that the statement could still hold true in the sense of Hindu philosophy (and I think Buddhist philosophy too).  In that sense, characteristics being transferred would simply be “Sattva, Rajas, and Tamas”, and inherent in food itself, much more than whatever became the food.  Excluding that slightly different interpretation (which I am still perhaps pondering over in the back of my mind), here is my disproof:

If you eat much chicken, you become more like a chicken.

If you eat much pork, you become more like a pig.

Which would imply:

If you eat many humans, you become more like a human…

Hmmm…. in a radical sense, this kind of promotes cannibalism, don’t you think?  In a less radical sense, aren’t the mosquitoes that are perhaps the ones that get to feast on humans the most, more human than humans who feed on animals?

Perhaps, perhaps not.  After all this post is but an idle reflection, and not meant to give you any deep insight as such, and I leave the rest up to you to decide!

In Appreciation of Appreciation

A long time back, in class 7, we were standing in line to go inside class.  Unexpectedly, one of my english teachers called me aside, and gave me a hard-covered red diary with a design of small flowers on the cover.  She was going to be leaving soon: she was one among many teachers of mine who was a volunteer: they came for terms of two years to both my high school, and later, my college, to teach, and went back after their term was over.

The diary was blank, and on the first page, she had written that it was a gift to someone, who she hoped, would be able to fill those pages with wonderful poems someday.  She had written more, but that is perhaps the most important line for me, and the feeling that came with it of course.

I got more wonderful gifts from teachers and friends along the way.  The most wonderful thing about them was not the material that came as the actual gift, so much as the appreciation that came along with it.  I’ve had wonderful gifts that have been no larger than a slip of paper, which made not just me, but even other members of my family very happy.  Even just praise, sincerely given, with heartfelt words, can make a large difference in your life: one such incident still makes me strive to make myself better than what I am often when I remember it.

And then again, more expensive gifts, while they may have made me happy, might not last so long as the gifts of true appreciation and encouragement.

I’m sure all of us have received such gifts in one form or another at different times in our lives.  The only regret that I might have about the gift of appreciation, is that I might not have been able to give as many as I have received, sometimes even when I have thought I should.  Expressing yourself is really something that requires a lot of courage if you are not used to it!

I think appreciation from others sometimes shows you aspects of yourself that you might not even have noticed.  Sincere appreciation, in contrast to flattery, helps you to see those aspects, and to take what you already have, and develop it to its full potential.

So from my side, heres to appreciation, and to more opportunities to both give and receive sincere  appreciation in the future!

A Paper Flower

A Paper Flower

Green, shiny, and light,

a slightly fragrant box,

sitting among many others,

in a shop shelf,

with contents

that must be delivered

to its target:

just some passerby

who will randomly prefer it,

pick it up,

use its contents,

and discard the box itself:

a flower,

of human consumerism.

To memorize or not to um…. what was I saying?

I used to look at memorization as if it was something that was not fit for people really interested in learning.

That was in the past.  Nowadays, I look at it in a different light.

Long ago, I preferred to derive formulae for mathematics rather than try to remember them, even in exams.  I believed that what was important was understanding the concepts, and being able to do things yourself.  I still believe this though.

But then, I’ve also begun seeing things from another angle: the fact that a man with the right tools can achieve more results than a man without those tools, though the one without tools may be a very good worker.  What does that have to do with memorization?

Its pretty obvious that memorization serves as a tool for various purposes.  Students cramming their way through exams is one purpose it serves quite well.  However, providing a framework of readily accessible facts in your mind when you need them is another very important use it has.  Think of two people: with the same level of understanding of a subject.  One understands all the concepts, but he needs to refer to his books, the internet, or whatever he has at his disposal to remember hard facts.  The other knows all of the facts in his mind.

Let me take an aside from the scenario above for a while, and go to the world of Buddhist monks in Tibet, where I read once (in a book called The Third Eye by T. Lobsang Rampa) that the monks were supposed to memorize numerous thick volumes of books, and were able to remember anything in any of the pages using a memory system.  “The feat might be incredible, but what is the point?”, you might ask .  Anyways, that was one of the questions that had come to my mind.

I am not sure.  One thing though, is that they have two advantages: i. they can refer to, and mix and merge any number of concepts in the books at will, and they have a reference that is always at their disposal (thus, helping them gain a deeper understanding in the long run); ii. the discipline that it took to memorize those volumes forced them to concentrate, and I believe that, the density of the time you put in is much more important than just the raw length of time you put in. By density, I mean the amount of concentration you put in.

Jumping back to the first scenario:  the second person has the facts he needs in his head all the time, which means that he can refer to these facts anytime– something I seem to frequently do (since it seems my unconscious mind keeps working on problems even when I am doing something else– something I have noticed frequently when I try to solve brain-teasers and other problems).  In other words, he has a framework in his mind, which he can customize as he wishes to.  That is a very valuable tool for learning.

The second advantage he has is in self confidence.  Both people might be experts, but the one who can easily answer any questions fired at him instead of having to refer to notes gives the ‘feel of an expert’ to a random observer.  And being able to convince random people that you are an expert is part of the art of selling yourself, something that is quite important in competitive times.

As a final observation that I found quite interesting:  after you work for years in a field, you find you know certain things by heart, i.e. you have the knowledge/skills at your fingertips.  If you are a person used to memorizing+practicing things well in the beginning itself, you thus gain significant comparable expertise much sooner.

The subject of course, deserves much more detail than what I have covered above (my customary apology– this is a blog, not an essay ).  However, the aspects I mentioned above are quite important (at least to me), and are part of the reason of why I am beginning to find a newfound respect for memorization.

‘Grown Up’

I begin this post with a recommendation for those of you who have not read The Little Prince to do so at least once in their life.  It is a very beautiful book, very short, and though it is a children’s book, I am sure it will call out to the child in every adult who reads it!  You can read it online from the link above, or here as well: the link of my preference.

I often wonder what ‘being grown up’ is exactly about.  A more apt statement would be that I wonder if everyone has the same perspective of ‘growing up’ as I do… to explain my perspective, many (please note: I do not say ‘all’) ‘grown ups’ do seem like the ‘grown ups’ the Little Prince meets in his journeys in the book.  Not the whole person of course, but some aspect or the other.  I am sure I resemble quite a few of the characters there too .

Today, something struck me as a possible explanation of the phenomenon of ‘growing up’ (in the sense of the book).  I’ll explain it below:

As a child, we all have our own fears, our own inadequacies, as well as our own positive points.  As we grow up, we need to cope with things in life.  The ideal solution would be to face each fear, and to get rid of it once and for all.  That is the concept of ‘fighting one’s demons’ that I understood in a movie on Bruce Lee’s life… something his father was talking to him about.

But then, to fight demons requires strength, and often, help (in the sense of help from friends, family, or someone with a lot of perception, to cite a few possibilities).  Not all of us are lucky enough to get even one of the two many times.  However, time (and life) moves on at its own pace, waiting for nobody.  You grow older, and before you know it, you have more and more responsibilities.  You still shoulder your fears, your ‘demons’ though.  What do you do?

If you cannot openly face them, you build up defense mechanisms to avoid those fears.

Children may not need, and hence, understand these defense mechanisms.  Even we ourselves may be unaware of our own mechanisms, and even more unaware of those of others.  Hence, we may not understand that the way Mr. X or Mrs. Y reacts so strangely to certain (all?) things is not because because they are bad people deep inside, but because they are just naturally reacting defensively against their fears– demons deep inside their minds, lurking around and thriving in the dark corners of their minds.

Is that what a lot of ‘grown ups’ are like?  I know a few in my life, whose reactions really used to irk me.  Later, I could see their defense mechanisms and their actual fears (to some extent) as I got to know them more.

Some act all bossy towards kids (and other people), and behave as if they know it all.  However, if they had to go through their childhood once again, through the same situations that are perhaps packed away in some dark corner of their mind, forgotten, but not let go of, how would they fare the second time on?  How many demons have they fought off forever in their life?

Of course, it sounds so nice to be able to get over all your fears, to live life without pretenses or complexes.  However, its a short life we have, and not all of us find the resources we need to fight all of our battles.  The people who gather around us, the responsibilities that pile up on our shoulders, these need our time, as much as our inner battles do.  Which do we give priority to?

After all, whether we win our inner battles or not, we are still, in essence, the very people we have always been, the same people that only we might know deep down inside, and like so much.  We live our lives the best we can, and hope to make a difference (or perhaps not), leaving behind memories that hopefully, at least a few will cherish for a long time, doing our best to be ‘grown up’ with the time and resources that we have at hand.

Personally, as a note, I would like to add that I think we have as many resources as we would like to have, and both winning the battle and living our life at the same time is possible.  However, that is just an opinion, nothing that I have thought very deeply about… somewhat like this posting in this regard (which perhaps received a bit more thought that the last statement ).

Conflict Management?

What are conflict management classes all about?

I thought… about negotiations, learning how to manage conflicts.. and whatnot.

But a friend of mine, who is actually taking an undergraduate conflict management course was both surprised and impressed with the course.  He said that the course so far was teaching him about different ways of attacking people… (not physically of course), and what kind of effect each attack would have!  I have to talk to him more to learn more about whats going on with that course.. sounds interesting.  Unfortunately, my own line of study currently will not allow me to digress into that direction (if I did, I would suffer a million other distractions as well.. too many things/courses I would be interested in!).

When I thought about it from the attack perspective, I realized how often the concept of attacks on self-image popped up, at least in my own life.. I wonder about the others.. but I am assuming it is pretty prevalent in people’s lives!  Even shynes, in the mood of ‘attack awareness’ in my mind, seemed to be the aversion to possible attacks on raw spots in self-image in people.

Obvious stuff, but it all seemed to ‘click’ to me when I thought about it, hence the post .  Feedback, of course, would be welcome!